Mortal Kombat

Rated M for Mature

Story: Earthrealm is being invaded by Shao Khan, in direct violation of the rules of Mortal Kombat.  Raiden has foreseen this from his former self being defeated in the future; and must now change the events of the present to prevent mankind’s eventual and most destructive end.

Gameplay: MK9 was given a bad rep from the beginning with its previous installments on the last gen consoles making things difficult (MK: Deadly Alliance, in my humble opinion, was the only good 3D one).  Thankfully, Netherrealm Studios did a fantastic job with this game.  The fighting isn’t confined to just the preset combos and complex fighting schemes and stances.  It’s back to what made this series awesome: No sidestepping, no weapons, no throwing crap on the ground and no 3D elements whatsoever.  Seriously, who in their right mind thought MK4 had it right by adding 3D?  What an abomination, like Street Fighter EX.  Everything is freaking fluid and fast in this game, nothing feels robotic or disconnected when it comes to combos and flow of combat.  New to the fray is a super bar which can enhance special moves, activate combo breakers and utilize a character’s signature X-Ray attack which deals a massive amount of damage while looking like it freakin’ hurts.  The first time you see Kitana’s x-ray attack, you can’t tell me you didn’t go “OHHHHHHHHHH SNAP!”

The inclusion of tag kombat was exceptionally well received as it did things right.  Fast tags and tag specials adds that element of surprise and quick strategy that the game needed with this mechanic.  It doesn’t even feel like it’s tacked on; the fights seem fit for it.  Online multiplayer is the same way, though laggy in some areas and weird about King of the Hill, it’s more than welcome since MK:Armaggedon.  Also, the Kombat Reels make a return with some hilarious new things (Headless Kombat, Armless Kombat, Poison, etc.) and some neat ways to fight.  The challenge tower is an excellent test of gaming skill with 300 challenges set to do everything from making you laugh to making you toss the controller a la Wiimote. 

Graphics:  The HD revamp of one of the greatest franchises in the history of video games does not disappoint in the presentation department.  Everything feels like you’re trudging through a graveyard, skies are colorfully variant from the blue skies of Edenia from the Royal Chamber to the thunderous clouds seen in the rooftop stage.  Some of the iconic Mortal Kombat stages of the past have gotten revamped with new animations and background movement, new stage fatalities and a host of other nice touches.  Speaking of the fatalities, the developers seem to have a thing for ripping off arms and legs; and for ripping apart torsos.  Sure, there’s DLC to get classic finishers like Scorpion’s “toasty” and Sub Zero’s Spine Rip; but the fatalities in this game are more than satisfying if they aren’t frustrating to nail down for distances.

Sounds/Voice Acting: As cheesy as everything in the story mode is, you have to admit: The voice acting is okay albeit campy.  It’s welcome though. 

Settling the Hype? When this was announced a long time ago, I was worried.  It looked slow, I wasn’t feeling the character designs and I had a salty distaste in my mouth after the other games.  Then I saw that it was going back to when MK3 was freakin’ sweet; and I suddenly felt hopeful.  This game not only satisfies fighting game buffs and the masses as a whole, it goes above and beyond the call of the hardcore gamers by bringing the blood and gore while also bringing back what made the games great… NO 3D BULLSHIT.

Overall: I’m glad this game happened.  That’s all I can say.

RATING:

9.0/10

Sucker Punch

Rated PG-13 for thematic material involving sexuality, violence and combat sequences, and for language

Abbie Cornish, Emily Browning, Vanessa Hudgens

Story: A depressed young girl is sent to a mental institution to be lobotomized.  In the few days that she has, she hatches a plan to get out along with four other girls.  Five items are the things they need to get away from their prison but they must overcome their own insecurities as much as the orderlies.'

Acting/dialogue: There won’t be that many funny one-liners or anything past inspirational garble.  All of the males sound pretty bad in my humble opinion; though the women have just about the same amount of lines, many of them just thrown out there without that much feeling.  Only Browning, Cornish and Malone seem to be the the only few people I could connect with on an emotional level.  Seriously, Rocket would be a winner.

Visuals/CGI: The movie goes from a bland and dark to a slightly colorful setting on par with movies like Watchmen.  The extra color and the changes seem to represent the vivid thoughts of the mind… or something like that.  Whatever.  The action sequences are very fast and frenetic, eye-gouging even.  You’re not going to sleep at any time during the flick even if it’s been a long week; and half of these scenes will make little to no sense as they go on.  What’s not to love about a girl in a schoolgirl outfit taking a sword to everything that moves?  How about hot chicks with guns going through the trenches shooting Nazi zombies?  There’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with it and they are absolutely amazing. 

Soundtrack: So, as much as I would like to say the soundtrack was crap… I can’t.  It’s good!  It works well with the action from set-up to scene end.  Browning also puts up her own vocals for the opening sequence which is quite haunting for a rendition of Sweet Dreams.  Also, the random mash-up of Queen’s I Want It All and We Will Rock You for one particular scene in the film just fits.  It’s odd for the urban style but it works. 

Oh, this is original!  So, this is Zack Snyder directing something totally original… So why can’t I get behind the story?  I can connect to a few of the characters, I can see how polychromatic this was when I saw the midnight release of it; and the action sequences were pretty damn ridiculous and kick-ass in every way.  Unfortunately, it shouldn’t be anything past that if it fails to bring anything beyond laughable philosophy and unfounded inspiration.  This isn’t an art piece, it’s babes and explosions. 

Overall: So, the tagline is “You will be unprepared” and I would agree.  Half the time I didn’t know what the hell was going on.  I didn’t want them to open their mouth to speak considering the dialogue was so bad, the twenty minutes of Browning NOT talking was the best talking moment I’d seen since A Series of Unfortunate Events.  That says a lot… the movie tries to be something more profound than it thinks it is.  Needs to just stay shiny and less talky.  I would have been glad if it had an R-rating because it would have been insanely better with the amount of freedom it could have had. 

RATING

6.7/10

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World–The Review

Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kieran Culkin, Chris Evans, Brandon Routh
Rated PG-13 for adult content, violence and language

Story: Scott Pilgrim, a 22 year-old bassist from Toronto, Canada is having a rough life of dating a high school Chinese girl, playing in a terrible band and living with his gay roommate Wallace Wells.  Then he [literally] meets the girl of his dreams named Ramona Flowers; and upon dating her must defeat her seven evil ex-boyfriends in order to win her heart… for great justice.  Based on the cult comic books by Bryan Lee O’Malley.

Acting/Dialogue: Let me get this out of the way first… you will not care about most of the dialogue.  In fact, the dialogue and scene transitions are so jumpy and tightly bound to each other, you might even see a scene change as the character on-screen is talking more than five times per minute.  It’s just like… a comic book.  What does matter is that Michael Cera, Mr. Awkward, isn’t a one-dimensional actor anymore; his portrayal of Scott isn’t really the greatest but it works for the movie.  Add to it Mary Elizabeth Winstead being a deadpan bitch, Kieran Culkin being a whore of a roommate, Brandon Routh playing a Vegan superman [ha!], Jason Schwarzman playing the great douche-machine Gideon, Chris Evans playing the silly-yet-radical Lucas Lee and Brie Lawson playing that bitch Envy Adams; and you’ve got enough star power to make it out of this movie with coins left over for the next round.

Visuals/CGI: From the 8-bit intro, you know how this movie will go.  The blending of iconic 8-bit arcade sounds, zany zop-pow-thonk! pop-ups in comic book style and the scene transitions all make the movie a little less than your typical crazy awesome anime but more like a live-action mega-concert-seizure-inducing-rave fest.  I did make that up, because I can’t describe all the eye candy that went into the production and the cinematography that was done to recreate the style of the source material down to the letter.  From the Pee Bar to the drumstick hits, everything is meant to visually pop to the point where even a deaf man could understand the entire movie.  I like how every Evil Ex battle started off with a “VS.” symbol in 16-bit lettering flying in and then after every fight when Scott wins, the baddie turns into coins.  Every game homage, from the shirts to the flashy K.O.’s, that was mentioned in the comics is brought in here… everything.

Audio/SFX:  Again, remember the sounds of the 8-bit ding! and the classic Sonic ring noises?  Remember the original Zelda themes and the bass-line from Final Fantasy II and Song of Storms?  Ever wondered what Beck sounds like with only three chords?  Yeah, it’s all here.  All of the comic’s iconic lines, gaming’s greatest sounds of all time (most notably, the KO sound from Street Fighter Alpha 3) and the copyright infringing renditions of video game tunes were put in here and Wright made damn sure that everything was done right.  Even with the Sex Bob-Omb’s three-chord songs were done well. 

Comic Correlation: Okay, so here’s where I nitpick, being a fan of the Oni Press comic.  The film was finished before the end of the series was even written, so as luck would have it, O’Malley and Wright (the director) had to come up with something to finish the flick and NOT completely wreck or spoil what would be Scott Pilgrim’s Finest Hour, the last volume in the series.  The ending here did just enough to satisfy; but also enough for me to ask… wha?  There were a lot of liberties taken here, major changes that will NOT spoil the ending but make it just enough so the movie can end on a slightly positive note instead of an infinitely better ending from the comics which provides an assload of closure, including a completely different sword.  Still, the ending was enough to satisfy and there’s nothing wrong with that.  Otherwise, the film adaptation was pretty good; even joking knocking on itself in the final “level” with Comeau mentioning “the comics are always better than the film”.  It’s that kind of humor and attention to detail that Edgar Wright is known for and he made sure the film was done just enough that the comic book fans would be heavily satisfied and the average movie-goer would be entertained.

Overall: The hype scared me since it just looked so damn good for something almost completely out of left field.  It’s like Kick Ass, which was colorful, loud and obscenely outrageous in its own right; and it lived up to the hype but got poor reception because absolutely no one knew where the hell it came from; and now a secuel is in the works.  This one has the same thing going for it; but this could make it considering the massive marketing (The game, the adult swim short, the comics being ON DISPLAY and mentioned in Kick Ass) and the amount of super-crazy action that just cannot be passed up.  If you are anywhere close to a comic book geek, video game nerd or just someone with hipster style and tastes, this movie is tailored / relevant to your interests.  For everyone else, screw the lack of 3D, you’re in for a crazy romance story best describe as live-action AWESOME.  Insert credit, get ready… HERE WE GO.

RATING

9.5/10

Inception – The Review

Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Ken Watanabe, Dileep Rao, Cillian Murphy, Tom Berenger, Marion Cotillard, Pete Postlethwaite, Michael Caine, Lukas Haas
Rated PG-13 for suggestive themes, violence.

Story: Dreams aren’t even safe anymore.  Cobb and Arthur are tasked with getting inside people’s minds while they sleep to extract information and plant ideas in their minds.  They are hired by an energy executive to perform an inception on a rival company’s president; and must get a team together to go deep inside the crevices of the psyche to instill an idea that could change his very way of living.  Doing it is one thing; doing it without complications, that’s a pipe dream.

Acting/Dialogue:  You cannot deny that there is star power here.  So far, DiCaprio has yet to strike out when it comes to powerful performances and he can bring it here too.  Surprisingly enough, the focus isn’t just on him and his style, but rather the supporting roles who have this sort of "buddy-buddy” thing going on in each jump through the folds of the mind.  Page, the Architect, makes some interesting pokes to get into Cobb’s character being the only college student in the bunch.  Watanabe, the Tourist, screws the pooch early as his role suggests.  Hardy, the Forger, is obviously having fun with his role even though no humor happens to come around except for one pinnacle point in the movie before the epic climax.  Gordon-Levitt does a superb job of staying level-headed and being the foil of Cobb, just as an assistant should.  And then there’s that bitch Catillard who just wants to bring out that emotional pull seen before from DiCaprio in Titanic; and even then that was nuts.

Visuals/Cinematography/CGI: So, let’s talk about how this movie achieves mental Cirque du Soleil literally everywhere with ease.  How about those moments when everything just explodes, going from status quo to WHOA in no time.  I don’t think there was a single instance where the set had to be changed, when one location just didn’t go up.  The cinematography was quite good for a Nolan-directed film, not as impressive as The Dark Knight but still good.  The CGI was mostly saved for all of the large/set-scale destruction where everything has to go in spectacular fashion.  Fighting in a rolling hotel hallway is pretty damn cool.

Soundtrack/FX: Hans Zimmer makes an interesting soundtrack which builds upon every sequence just as he did for The Dark Knight; but that’s okay.  The moments of silence makes for some great cinematic moments to come. 

Mindgames: There’s a bunch of mind-melding mess that is simple yet complex.  Little theory to explain everything going on and even then there’s confusion as to when you’re awake and not so much.  I could also say that there is something at the end that will completely flip your shit so much it’s like a seventh season of Lost. 

Overall: Everything here is pretty much The Matrix meets Ocean’s Eleven for what it’s worth.  It’s simply mind-blowing, to overuse a phrase, absolutely astounding with the combination of great acting and a crazy idea with even wilder effects.  The ending, hell, the last ten minutes of the film will screw you over more than Shutter Island; and the probability of “it was all a dream” is VERY HIGH.  It’s pretty safe to say that this is straight up Oscar-nomination worthy. 

RATING

9.5/10

Despicable Me – The Review

Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand, Russell Brand, Kristen Wiig.
Rated PG for Suggestive Themes

Story: Dr. Gru, a nefarious villain, has hit hard times trying to fund his latest evil plot of trying to steal the moon.  He’s between a rock and a hard place until three little orphan girls come into his neighborhood; and it doesn’t help that he has an archrival also attempting the same devious plot. 

Acting/Dialogue: Don’t expect anything deep or super silly from Carrell when he’s playing Gru, he deadpans it most of the time.  Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t put him off to the side when the supporting characters are brought in, but it doesn’t make him a little more plain than the usual silliness we’re all used to from his improvisational skills and time on the Daily Show and The Office.  Don’t expect that and you’re good.  I didn’t expect Russell Brand to be the voice of Gru’s assistant, Dr. Nefario, which was kind-of welcome into this cast of crazies.

Most of the humor comes from the subtle dialogue and other forms of hilarity on screen, more than just what you’ve seen in the previews and commercials.

Visuals/CGI: It is a very cartoony look and feel, breaking away from anything Disney Pixar has put out in the field.  It doesn’t feel second best, however, when you see it for the first time. 

Surprisingly enough, the minions, little yellow big-eyed and mouthy two-foot-tall things that help the doctor from time-to-time, DIDN’T steal the show… in fact, it was the girls that did it.  The contrast in size between this big bad guy (Gru) and the tiny size of the little girls (Margo, Edith and Agnes) made for a surprisingly brilliant bit of chemistry and mischief.  If you don’t instantly fall for the girls, it’s understandable.  The minions, however, you can’t help but love and laugh at all the time. 

Audio/Soundtrack: I was surprised when I learned that Pharell Williams [N.E.R.D., The Neptunes] did the original score and soundtrack for the film; but only because this was just something that would seem better suited for someone like Danny Elfman or something goofy.  The thing is, it worked so well!  The opening track “Despicable Me” is quite fitting to Gru’s mantra; “The Unicorn Song” and “The Prettiest Girls” are two standouts in my opinion.  Each track sounds like a hip hop lullaby or a walk through central park.  

Toy Story 3? You know, I could see this becoming a show; but I highly doubt it.

So anyways, people ask if it’s better than Toy Story 3.  Where Toy Story 3 shoots for nostalgia, filling and finishing, reaching out to our inner child while entertaining the new generation; Despicable Me is just shooting for the children while throwing nods to other popular flicks.  You aren’t seeing something try to out-do a giant blockbuster like that; you’re getting something different and fresh, even though it’s something straight out of Dexter’s Laboratory.

Overall: It is a charming flick that doesn’t try to take too many risks, sticks to a formula but goes about the execution in a very peculiar fashion.  If anything, it’s a short feature film that has a few pleasant surprises, mentions of pop culture and its own little gags that all work for it.  Spot Mandark for me, will ya? 

RATING

8.9/10

The Last Airbender–The Review

Noah Ringer, Nicola Peltz, Dev Patel, Jackson Rathbone, Aasif Mandvi, Shaun Toub, Cliff Curtis, Jessica Jade Andres
Rated PG for fantasy action and violence

Story: Aang, with the mark of the Avatar, has been chosen to learn the four disciplines of Air, Water, Earth and Fire in order to combat the forces of the powerful Fire Nation and its encroachment on world domination.  With the assistance of two water benders from the Southern Water Village, Sokka and Katara, he must avoid all dangers while learning the elemental arts in sequence, eluding the pursuit of the vengeful son of the Fire Lord, the exiled Prince Zuko. 

Acting:  This was a very disappointing point for me as well as everyone watching the film as the actions of both Patel and Ringer seemed rushed and forced in execution, all of the dialogue seeming like a very cookie cutter copy-and-paste mess of a script.  Then again, you try being the [self-proclaimed] master of the twist taking on the massively popular Nickelodeon show and condensing an entire book into a 90 minute feature film for kids audiences.  Very hard to do.  Then again, it isn’t hard to put another hour into the movie just to include everything about the series that made it GOOD. 

That’s not to say the acting was all that bad.  There were some points where it just seemed the characters were very underutilized, like there could have been more action here and exaggeration elsewhere.  I just wanted a little more from the supporting roles as well as Patel for something of a anti-hero he’s supposed to be a little less brooding and a little more conflicted.  Some casting was good while others, not so much… whoever had the bright idea to cast Jasper from Twilight to play a 14 year-old should have been hanged.

Here’s an idea… for the Fire Lord, instead of Cliff Curtis, why not put in Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (Mortal Kombat, Planet of the Apes, The Phantom) who would be even more intimidating and more of a dominant presence than just a side villain.  And instead of Mandvi, why not have Robin Shou?  Oh wait, Dev Patel’s here, that wouldn’t make sense, let’s find mediocre people to highlight him a bit.

Visuals/CGI/3D:  The 3D isn’t like Avatar, so be prepared to be blown away at one distinct moment in the film but underwhelmed the rest of the time.  All of the elemental effects were nice, really well done in fact.  What I dug were the ties to the intricate movements of the Shaolin-inspired Bending techniques and the power of the technique was translated into the intensity of the attack.  This made me happier when Aang and Zuko had their shining moments… you could clearly see the hours of training that these guys had to put into it. 

The interlacing with the action at the Northern Water Temple was quite good as well.  The only major part of the film you will like are the fight sequences and the large scale battles.  Even the fleet of the Fire Nation looks awesome, almost on par with the approach of the Imperial Army from Star Wars. 

Sound/FX:  Another shining point was the music.  Everything just seemed ridiculously epic in battle and calming outside of it, which made the film bearable at most points.  The Blue Spirit is an excellent example of how Eastern and Western influences should blend, Eastern flutes and harps working well with the booming drums and horns of the West, something James Newton Howard is somewhat hit-and-miss with these days. 

Then again, after Michael Clayton, he could do whatever.

Cartoon Correlation:  Okay, so here’s where I get nasty.  This was based off Book One of the series, and it had a lot to condense.  From Aang’s back-story and the reason behind Zuko’s exile to the training at the Water Temple and The Kyoshi Warriors.  I’m glad certain things were put in but also disappointed most things that made the series fun, like some of the humor and running gags, were left out.  Aang is supposed to be someone innocent just beginning to accept his task in the first book, not immediately super-epic being from the beginning like something straight out of Dragon Ball.  This completely strips the show of its fun and charm only to replace it with something completely incomprehensible and dull.  The acting doesn’t help either and the things cut out were probably the better parts of the season.  You will not like how this movie does things at all.

Overall: There were a lot of things changed that I didn’t like, some major character underutilization and casting choices that were questionable.  Thankfully, there were two semi-big names on the bill, but hopefully the trilogy will bring more of them and their respective characters bigger and more grandiose, otherwise this things screwed since Shyamalan got his greasy and twisted palms on directing it.  I wanted fun and epic, not shiny yet bland.  The movie’s acting was horrid, the choreography and special effects were the only shining points; but even I can’t shine a penny into a million dollars. 

RATING:

3.6/10

Toy Story 3 – The Review

Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Don Rickles, Wallace Shawn, Estelle Harris, John Ratzenberger, Ned Beatty
Rated G

Story: Andy is now 17 and off to college, his old toys have been sitting in his toy trunk for years.  Now, before taking Woody off to college, the rest of the old gang is being donated to Sunnyside Daycare with a whole bunch of old donated toys with an eerie sense of community amongst toddlers.  Everything isn’t so great, and it’s up to Woody to choose between life with Andy in college and saving his long-time pals. 

Acting/Dialogue: I don’t know where to begin here.  The big names are back to take on their iconic roles once again, Tom and Tim bringing their characters back from obscurity (it’s been almost 15 years now since the first movie, 11 from the second) and no one can forget them.  I would say this would be something Oscar-winning for the entire cast, but it’s a children’s film so the dialogue is going to be simple and understandable for all ages.  It’s really all in the personality of the different characters.  Whether it be Ken’s charisma or Buzz’s commanding nature, it’s all charming and quite good to see nothing has changed from the original formula.

What also made another high point are the interactions between all the toys, not just the Woody/Buzz show constantly going on with the other movies.  Sure there were some obvious pairings (Ken and Barbie, Mr. and mrs. Potato Head, etc.) but there were some unique buddy-buddy moments that made me smile a bit and others that made my inner child want to go running through Toys R Us just to make that happen in real life.

Visuals/CGI/3D: Okay, just so we’re clear, I’m not a fan of 3D in everything except Avatar and Meet The Robinsons.  I’m also slightly impartial when it comes to animated films because of the usual plastic-style look they usually have and how goofy they can look. 

That being said, I liked how Pixar took some risks here in its staple movie franchise, adding in some bold new technology and opting for 3D to get that extra depth in the already vibrant colors and more animation in the characters.  And it isn’t just how the different toys looked all the time, trust me, there were a lot of toys kids beat up nearly every day of the week; it’s more of how they look AFTER kids happened.  The plastic look-and-feel didn’t bother me at all, the 3D did at points, but not too much. 

Hey!  It’s That Toy!  First off, the toys are what make the movie; but up until now the toys have simply been the ones you only see in the US. none from other countries or cartoons.  Plus, there were noticeably some toys present that were missing from the completely nostalgic picture.  Now that there’s another movie with an even bigger cast with some silly little things everywhere (the peas-in-the-pod and the roll-around-phone are some notables) and the addition of more plush toys as well. 

Overall: I had no reservations walking into the movie with someone I cared about, because it’s that kind of movie for all ages and statuses.  It was my childhood, it’s 15 years in the making, it was the right time to get Andy all grown up and pass off the plastic; and time for all of us to say goodbye.  The last hurrah isn’t a half-assed effort like the Shrek movies, it was one of the most heartwarming movies I had seen all year.  And in those last few minutes of the film, anyone who has been along for the ride will be screaming not to get off, even with Buzz and Woody out of the box… and before I spoil anything in regards to the end, no they DON’T START TALKING TO ANDY.  And now, you’ll just have to watch. 

RATING

9.7/10